I always say it’s just okay to let go of toxic people from your life. It’s actually a form of cleansing which I genuinely support. People might call it a selfish act, I call it cutting out toxicity. But I never assumed I also could be at the recieving end of what I clearly stood for.
I admit, I have cut off toxic friends and even toxic cousins from my life.
I have had open discussions with my friends and shared my thoughts about who has been holding them back in life, who is the one mixing toxicity in the environ of their lives and who just needs to go.
I have applied the same technique to myself as well. And yes! I was the one to whom people came for honest advice, especially about matters like relationships.
I believed that since I had gone through lots of hardships early in life and I had a mature, pratical and empathetic outlook towards everything in life. Clearly, I didn’t know it all. I mean, no one knows it all, right? I believe it’s the learning curve in life, to accept that we don’t know everything.
A dear friend of mine turned her back on me! I don’t know if I was being too clingy or I was watering a dead plant?
I had a real good friend in who I totally adored. She was a combo pack of smartness and caring nature. On the passage of growing up, we could not be as close as we used to be in school. But we did meet a couple of times in a year. I thought, it was all okay.
Once we got over with college studies and started working, we could take out time to meet each other. Sadly, the meetings grew less compassionate and more unhealthy. She used to say that I was very intrusive in lives of others and had strong opinion. I don’t know, she might be right but I didn’t make much of it. And then, one day she called me Aunty Acid.
I was not sure what it meant so I took to Google to find out. I got offended and it hurt me, but I didn’t react much. The disparity between us took the shape of a big fight that we had in buffet of a hotel.
Getting blocked by her hit me very hard.
It has been two years since that fight. She blocked me on every social media platforms including WhatsApp. She used to say things like “let go of people who don’t feed your soul.” I think that what she did with me.
It took me years to realise that friendships can’t be forced. Yes, I forgave her. I didn’t do it for her but for myself as it was costing me my peace. And now, I don’t want her back in my life.
Maybe I was toxic at that time and I still can’t believe that it could happen with me.